rilee16 (rilee16) wrote in dki_bitchez,

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Title: Ruminations on Brotherly Love
Author: rilee16
Pairings: mentions of Smadey
Rating: pgish, really very tame actually
Warnings: If you’re into the thought of men in love with each other and you’re offended by this story, then you’re a jackass and should be smacked in the face with a 2 by 4.
Disclaimer: I do not know the people I use in this story; I just think they are pretty and decided to make up a story about them. It isn’t true to my knowledge, even though I wish it were.

Davey’s Point of View

I know Jade loves me. He wouldn’t come home with me every night, sleep with me in our bed, make love to me if he didn’t. He wouldn’t bring me breakfast in bed, or spend hours stroking and brushing my hair, or watch my favorite movie with me for the millionth time if he felt he could live without me.

But I know he loves Smith too. I see the hugs that last slightly too long, that are too tender and sweet to be brotherly and platonic, the worry in his eyes when someone starts to hassle him, even though Smith is more than capable of taking care of himself now.

Part of it is rooted in the fact that he is Smith’s older brother; the baby brother that he has always felt the insane need to protect against all evil is out in the world, exposing himself to things, people and events that are beyond his control, and he can’t be with Smith all the time to watch over him, to keep him safe.

But somewhere along the way lust and romantic love took root; which one came first I couldn’t begin to guess at. I’ve been able to see it in the way Jade looks at his brother for years now, since before we even began dating, although I’m certain Jade didn’t consciously realize it until quite recently. I wasn’t second choice. Jade is incapable of doing something so cruel, that would hurt me so badly as to take me as his consolation prize, which is the only reason I was willing to be in a relationship with him in the first place; I knew he was incapable of being malicious toward someone he loved.

With Smith it is simpler and as such, subtler, but that love and lust is definitely reciprocated in feeling, if never in consummated deed. The original hero worship he felt for Jade as his cool older brother and a healthy dose of teenage hormones must have lead to plenty of wet dreams that set his imagination running, because his need for Jade has been obvious to me since I first met him.

When we were teenagers I would always see him stare at Jade just a little too long and hard, and he’d always pull crazy stunts to get his attention, sometimes going so far as to pick a fight in a club just to have Jade either come to his defense or help him bandage his broken body afterward. I think the thought that he wouldn’t have a chance became so engrained in him after Jade and I had been dating for a couple of years that he began to disregard men entirely. In all the years I’ve known Smith, he has never dated, or even declared an interest in men, bringing girl after girl home instead.

I’m not jealous of the love they feel for each other. Why should I be? Jade has never cheated on me, let alone begun an affair with his brother. Smith seems content with the idea of loving Jade from afar, to allow him to be happy and make a life with me, like a character in some old novel or play. I don’t feel envy for the love they both feel for each other because I feel the same love for the both of them.

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