I'm waiting for something to go wrong... (corrodedheart) wrote in dki_bitchez,
I'm waiting for something to go wrong...

To Forgive The Unforgivable And To Change The Unchangeable

Title: To Forgive The Unforgivable And To Change The Unchangeable
Author: k3lly aka corrodedheart
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Benji/Joel
Summary: It was weird, because we stumbled upon a bunch of old records from the town when we went to the library to do some research. Two twin brothers were killed by a mob of townspeople because they were caught having “relations”. Benji and Joel are influenced by their past lives and a sense of deja vu. Never make the same mistake twice.
Notes: This is what I came up with in response to pyro_x_btch’s idea. I hope she likes it. I used a bit of what she wrote, and interpreted it in my own twisted way. Hope you like. I guess you could say this is my first “challenge” fic.

To Forgive The Unforgivable And To Change The Unchangeable

I never understood our parents’ reasoning for moving to this town. Especially when we got there. I remember the first time we ever met anyone. They whispered like they’d never seen twins before. Like we were freaks. I’ll admit, we weren’t the most clean-cut teenagers. Well, there was me with my pink hair and numerous piercings. Even though I had different hair and metal objects though my face, I still resembled Joel so much it that it was disturbing sometimes. The people in this town creeped me out ever since I met them.

“They’re coming tonight,” He said sadly, looking off into the distance.

“What do you mean?” The other boy asked.

“They know.”

“Ben, will you set the table for dinner tonight?” Mom asked.

“Sure.” I replied, still thinking.

I put the white plates with the fruit around the edges at each place. Fork, knife. Fork, knife. A glass, and a napkin. Where is Joel? Things haven’t been easy in this new school either. We get beat up every day, for no reason whatsoever. They tell us nothing, except that this is what we deserve. We’ve been here a month already, but we’ve made no new friends. Mom is starting to get worried. It’s not even like we’re introverts. It’s just the fact that even the lowliest in that school won’t come near Joel and I. It’s as if we’re pariahs.

“You know, even now, that I’ll always love you,” He said to the other boy.

“I love you too.”

They embraced for a while, standing out behind their old house, seeing the open plain, and watching the sunset. The bright hues of gold and blood red were splashed across the sky, meant as a sign of what will happen that night.

“How did they find out?”

It was weird, because we stumbled upon a bunch of old records from the town when we went to the library to do some research. Two twin brothers were killed by a mob of townspeople because they were caught having “relations”. Joel and I laughed uneasily as we read that in one of the old local newspapers. Maybe the fact that we are twins influenced their ideas of us before they even met us. Stupid rumors, urban legends, and vicious gossip.

They were right. Joel and I loved each other more than two brothers should. That didn’t mean that we flaunted it. We kept it under wraps, only showing it behind closed doors, in our bedroom. Never in front of our other siblings or our parents. They didn’t know. No one else did either. What we found in that library scared us. It made us extra careful.

“Can we make love one more time?” He asked.

“Yes. It will probably be our last.” The other boy replied.

“Why did this have to happen? Everything was perfect. Now...” He didn’t finish his sentence.

But we were stupid, young, and loved adventure. We risked it all, and deep down, I knew that one day we were going to get caught, and it wouldn’t be pretty. Not pretty at all. Stupid on both our parts, even though we were forewarned by that fateful article in that newspaper from the 1800's. How could we risk what we had? How could we be so childish?

“I love you, Joel.” I sighed.

“Don’t you miss it?” He asked, suddenly.

“Miss what?”

“Our old town, our old friends...just, everything?” His eyes clouded over in remembrance.

“Yeah. I do. They didn’t care about us, and we didn’t have to hide it around them.” I replied, bitterly.

Joel kissed me, and said, “We don’t have to hide it in this room though.”

“I know. But we have to be extra quiet.” I smiled a little.

I loved Joel so much. It was impossible to explain to anyone exactly how much, but we both felt it for each other. That feeling that you get when it’s hopeless to try and change the way you feel in any way, shape or form. It was deep and profound. So different from anything we’ve ever experienced previously.

The slightly shorter boy grabbed the other boy’s hand as they slowly walked back into the house. Once inside, he brought their hands up to his face, and kissed his love’s knuckles. “You’re so special. I wish we could exist together forever.” His eyes crinkled into a sad forlorn smile.

“But as fate has it, nothing is ever meant to be so good, or to last so long as ‘forever’.” They said together.

They went into their bedroom, looking at everything that reminded them of all the happy times they had spent together since they were born.

But all good things must come to an end someday. Unfortunately, our day was very near. So near, in fact, it was right under our very noses. The fact that we thought we were invincible didn’t help us one bit. It was because of that, that we’re gone now. It was because of our stupid mistake of kissing in the locker room when we thought it was empty. Someone found us. They caught us. Then we knew. We knew what was going to happen to us. That day, we went home early and cut the rest of school.

“Joel, do you know what this means?” I said, when I caressed his cheek softly.

“Yes. I wonder when they’ll come.” He said quietly, his eyes brimming with tears.

We’re standing outside, in our backyard, watching the sunset, reveling in its beauty, and how uncomplicated it is. Unlike the turn our lives have taken. A turn for the worst, I’m sure.

“Maybe tonight. They might wait, though. I’m not getting my hopes up.” I sighed.

“I think I’m ready,” he whispered, and I could hear his heart singing with love and care.

“You’re sure? You’re sure you want to do this?” I asked him, looking him in the eyes carefully.

“Yes, completely and positively one hundred percent sure. I’d rather not be a virgin when they come.” He smiled.

There were torches burning in the distance, and the two boys saw them from their bedroom window. They threw on their clothes quickly, hugging each other. They stayed there, hugging and kissing in the dead and silent house, waiting. Waiting for the torches to come nearer.


Joel and I were scared shitless. But they didn’t come this night. Then, I remembered something, that could be very important to us. I overheard some people talking in hushed whispers about this widow who knew the full story. Whatever that was. Maybe they were talking about us. It was our only shot to find out what happened with those two twin brothers.

Her name was Abitha. She was over the age of seventy, and some say she was senile. I don’t believe what they said about her being senile though. From the moment she answered the door, both Joel and I realized that she had that sparkle of intelligence in her eyes, and there was no doubt. She knew exactly what she was saying.

“Hello, darlings! How are you?” She answered the door.

“Well, we came to ask you something.” I stuttered, taken aback by her smile.

“You two are such good looking gentlemen, how could I refuse?” She ushered us inside quickly.

When we were inside her house, we glanced around nervously. She motioned to some chairs, and we sat. “So what was it you wanted to ask me?” She said sweetly.

“We wanted to know what happened to those two twin brothers that everyone keeps talking about.” Joel blurted out nervously.

“Oh.” She looked saddened for a moment. “I could tell you, that is, if you really want to know, seeing as you’re so...” She gestured to us both. “Like them. Or at least, from what I’ve managed to hear.” She smiled sadly at us.

“I love you so much, Benjamin,” The shorter boy said.

“I love you too.” He continued, “Are you afraid?”

“Of course. But, what can we do about it? We can’t run. You know they’ll find us, right?”

Benjamin said sadly, “Yes, they will. They’ve got too many good trackers. They would find us eventually if we were to run for the woods.”

“We’re just going to sit here?” The boy asked disbelievingly.
“What else can we do?”

“I don’t know.” Tears were pouring down both their cheeks, and they looked at each other with that sad broken look that one gets when they know.

They know they won’t be in this world much longer.

“Well, what happened?” I leaned forward unconsciously, wondering.

“Well, the reason I know so well is that my mother was best friend’s with the children’s mother. When I was old enough, she told me this story, and that I have to tell the next twins in this town what happened. She said that there was a curse, placed upon the keeper of the story. They cannot die until it’s told to the right people. I’m assuming that would be you, young men.”

She took a deep breath. “Well, the family was well respected, and the mother was such a wonderful woman. They had four children. There were the twins of course, and then an older brother, and a younger sister. It’s a shame really. The father was someone that wasn’t really liked, because he was a drunk, and was always found at the bar, drinking the family’s money away. Usually, the neighbors would help her out, with little odds and ends, inviting them over for a meal every once and a while. They were such beautiful children, come to think of it. You know, you remind me of the twins.”

Eerie. That feeling of deja vu, you know, where you get the shivers and know that something had occurred, but aren’t sure exactly when. It ran like a current of water, making both Joel and I shiver and sway in its depths. She said we looked like those boys?

“What were the names of the other siblings, ma’am?” Joel asked.

“Why, the younger daughter was named Sarah, and the older brother was named Joshua.” She replied.

Closer. Closer still.

They were holding on to each other tight, their grip like death, so deadly white and pale their knuckles were. They were cheek to cheek, trying to keep the last bit of warmth in the house bottled up between them.


“Hmm?” He murmured, soothing the other boy with his voice.

“Are we gonna go to heaven?”

“I don’t know. The priest said that what we do is evil. He says it’s pure sin. How could it be, when we love each other?” He felt so helpless.

“I don’t know how it could be, but all I know is that I love you with all of my heart. If it’s even still there.”

“I love you too, baby. I love you too.” Benjamin caressed his cheek with the back of his hand, running his smooth skin lightly over his face.

“Well, their father beat their mother and the twins, but for some reason, always left the other two children alone. It was strange. The twins always stuck together, always looked out for each other. I swear, if anything happened to the other, they would be by each other’s side in a flash. They knew instantly. I guess it’s what you would call a ‘twin connection’. I guess that because of their care for each other, it evolved into something more. Something that they didn’t stop to think about, and what its consequences would be. It was quite upsetting. One day they were careless, and they were caught kissing. Wait, no, it was a bit more than kissing. I won’t go into details on that though, for fear of sullying your young minds.”

We smirked. Young, indeed. You’d think we’d know the most about sexual practices between twins. Nothing is ever what it seems in this place. Old women that are so naive. Ironic, really. Aren’t you supposed to be more wise as you get older?

“The fact is, they were caught, and the townspeople found out. What was worse was that people in this town were very religious, and they took this to heart. It was a bruise on the pride of the whole town. The family was shamed and disgraced. So they decided to do something about the twins. A few nights later, they came to the house with torches, pitchforks, a few guns, knives, and the like. See, it took them a while to get there, because the house was situated in a heavily wooded area. They stood outside and...”

Benjamin was laying light kisses on the other boy’s chest, when all of a sudden he heard something.




They jumped away from each other, frightened.

“They’re here. They’re here.”

“Shh, Joel, it’ll be okay. It will be okay.” Benjamin quieted him.

“No it won’t.” Tears were pouring down his face. He was quietly sobbing, the hiccups racking his chest like a bad cough. He was trying to be strong, but there was no way.

They’re here.

“They knocked on the door. They didn’t get any answer. So, they took the hatchets to it, and broke it down. There was enough spirit about the town to dismantle the house brick by brick and wooden slat by wooden slat, but we’ll get to that later.”

Joel interrupted her. He burst out, “What were the names of the twin boys?”

“Oh, their names you ask, son?”

“Yes, their names, ma’am.” He said impatiently.

“One of the only ways you could tell them apart was by their height. The taller and slightly older twin was named Benjamin, and the shorter one was named Joel. I have a picture, if you’d like to see it.”


She bustled away, leaving the room for a minute. Dead silence. She came back in with the picture. It was quite old, and black and white of course, but there was no doubt. We were the same. The shorter one even had his birthmark in the same place on his face, as Joel. Two Joels?

She looked from the picture to us, her eyes wide. “What are your names?” She asked.

“What are we going to do?” He sobbed, scared out of his mind.

“Joel, you have to stay calm.” Benjamin tried to comfort him and talk some sense into him.

“I can’t!”

“They’re gonna break down the door, and they’re gonna come up here. What are they gonna do when the find us?” He whispered, panic stricken.

“I don’t know. We’ll sure as hell find out soon. It doesn’t matter though. We’re gonna be together, at least.”




“I think that they’re starting to hack at the door.” Joel whispered, fearful. He kissed his brother one more time.

“I love you. We’re gonna be together wherever we go, right?”

“Right. I don’t think they’d be able to separate our souls if they tried. We’re one person.” Benjamin pressed his forehead to Joel’s, and they stared deep into each other’s eyes, conversing in ways that no one but them would understand.




Time is almost up.

“I’m Benji, which is short for Benjamin, and he’s Joel.”

“I knew it!” She exclaimed. “It makes perfect sense.”

“What?” Joel asked.

“Nevermind. You two wouldn’t understand.” She continued. “Okay, now on with the story. The two boys were huddled in their room when the townspeople found them. The younger one, Joel, tried to protect his brother, and they shot him. Benjamin ran over to him, and kneeled beside him, holding his hand, because Joel wasn’t dead yet. Before they could say their last words to each other, another person stabbed Benjamin, and both died. Very slowly. All of the townspeople stood there and watched their last breaths leave their bodies, and saw them slowly pass on. No one’s sure whether they went on to heaven, or if their souls were exiled to dwell in hell forever.”

“Oh.” Joel and I looked at each other, scared. We know exactly what’s going to happen to us. This town isn’t any more tolerable of incest then it was in the 1800's.

“I think they finished knocking down the door.” Joel whispered. Their arms were still wrapped around each other.

They heard footsteps on the stairs. People were running up them, their footsteps echoing in the otherwise empty house.

They burst into the room, and Joel stood in front of them, protecting his brother, only to be shot. Benjamin watched as the bullet ripped through his brother’s abdomen, and saw his brother fall to the ground. He ran over, sitting down next to him, lacing their fingers together. Joel was barely able to keep his eyes open, and for a minute, they silently communicated their last goodbyes.

“I’ll meet you there,” Escaped Benjamin’s lips, before another man stepped up and stabbed Benjamin through the heart a minute after his brother’s body became lifeless.

“Thank you, ma’am.” We said our goodbyes, and left her house. We went back to our own, and stood out in the backyard, looking at the sunset once again. Blood red for the liquid to be spilled.

“Do you think they’ll come tonight?” Joel asked me.

“Yeah, I think they will.”

“Can we, you know...”

“Uh huh. We should.” I answered his question, before he even finished.

He wrapped his arms around me, and placed a soft kiss on my lips. “I love you so much it hurts.” He told me.

“I know. I feel it too.” I whispered. We walked hand in hand into the house. Everything after that rushed by in a blur.

We made love, and it was the most astonishingly wonderful feeling in the world. His silky pure white skin moving over my own. His body like an open flower, mature and ready for me. His beauty, making me want to ravish him the best I can. That’s what I did. I knew this would probably be the only opportunity for this. It was a little before dusk, when we saw the flashlights in the distance.

Instead of letting them put us to shame, we have a surprise waiting for them. We stayed naked, not bothering to get dressed again. What would it matter? We’re not ashamed of what we’ve done. Actually, we’re proud. If I could, I’d strut naked in front of the whole town and proclaim that I had sex with my twin brother. But instead, this will be far worse. We know what they want to do to us.

We cut our wrists, using the blood to write a little message on the wall. We stole the pistol from my mother’s bedside table. I kissed Joel one last time, and he shot himself in the stomach. I took the pistol from his grip and did the same. We were curled up as close as possible, our arms wrapped around each other. It was painful, but it gave us this sense of quiet peace, knowing that we chose to end it before they got to us. We were both on the last limbs of life, when I moved my lips against his ear, whispering, “I’ll meet you there.” Our heartbeats stopped at the same time.

They set the twins’ house on fire, using their burning torches. They walked back the way they came, leaving the house to burn into a fiery inferno. The next day, the firemen came to put it out, and the property sizzled, smoke filling the air. All that was left was the empty frame of the house, and buried under the debree were the skeletons of the two boys. A reminder left for all, of how they ate the forbidden fruit, and loved whom they shouldn’t have. A reminder of the price they paid. The balance of the bill that took their lives.

The townspeople found our bodies twenty minutes later. I’ll be damned if they were upset they didn’t get to kill us themselves. Abitha pushed her way through the crowd, into the room. She read the message on the wall. There were two simple words, written in their blood.

Love Kills.

Underneath it, there was a piece of notebook paper, pinned to the wall. It was scrawled in blue pen. It said:

Remember us,
because we sacrificed ourselves for love.

Mom, Sarah, Josh:

We love you.
We’ll miss you.
We’ll see you when you rest in heaven’s dreamy peace.

To all our friends:

You were the only ones who cared.
Love knew no gender,
and it didn’t matter who we fell in love with.
You helped us through the hardest times.


Thank you for telling us what happened,
so that we knew what not to do,
when it came down to this.
You will always be in our hearts.

She covered her mouth, reading the note, and smiled, because they included her. “You were such wonderful young gentlemen.” She whispered to herself, almost in a daze, staring at their naked bodies curled up next to each other on the floor. She turned and walked back through the crowd, going home to her small rickety house.

A rose on their grave,
As they smile up at the sun,
They know that life will go on in the next world.
The lifelessness flooding their limbs has made them forget.
They love each other as one whole entity.
Never to be separated,
Their souls smile in gratification.
Meeting each other in the next world,
Where everything blends together
In a melody of soaring angels singing,
In dwelling in each other’s company
Up in heaven’s great fluffy clouds.
Where they have met each other,
Never to forget their self sacrifice,
and never to forget the ones they love.

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